“I WANT TO RAISE MY CHILDREN NOT IN FEAR, BUT IN LOVE FOR THE CREATOR AND THE MITZVOT.” ADELE’S STORY.

When you hear stories like Adele’s, it seems as if such things cannot happen in real life — as if it were the script of a film meant to discredit the Torah and religious life. But Adele’s story is real. It is confirmed by people who have known her since her youth. For safety reasons, names, places, and some details that do not affect the essence of the story have been changed. For the same reason, we also cannot show the faces of Adele and her children

Like in a movie

Adele grew up in one of the centers of Jewish life in the post-Soviet space — a city with a strong community and an active cultural and religious environment. She studied, prayed, took part in holidays, and absorbed the atmosphere of living, warm Judaism.

The women around her were modest, well-groomed, educated. Their lifestyle corresponded to the words about the dignity and value of a woman — “the daughter of the King” — that Adele heard in her classes.

After university, she moved to Israel and soon met her future husband. Everything looked right and beautiful: dates, conversations, shared values, plans for a large family and professional fulfillment. It seemed like a union of two people moving in the same direction.

The nightmare began the day after the chuppah.

“No colorful clothes.”

Looking ahead, it is important to note that this is not about Orthodox Judaism, but about a closed sectarian system with harsh, distorted rules that have nothing to do with generally accepted religious practice. But Adele did not realize this immediately.

After the wedding, the bride came to live in her husband’s home — an apartment in one of the cities in Israel. She had barely begun to unpack her suitcases when her husband’s face suddenly changed.

“You won’t wear this here, it’s not kosher, throw it away, better yet burn it” — dresses and skirts even one centimeter above mid-calf, tights made of modern materials, blouses of any color except black were thrown into the trash.

Then the prohibitions multiplied: she was not allowed to leave the house, could read only approved books, communicating with neighbors was considered immodest, looking around was forbidden, a woman working was not kosher, creativity was a sin.

All the money belonged to her husband. She was not allowed to spend more than 5 shekels on herself. Any female friends were forbidden. The only permitted contact was the wife of the community leader, who explained to Adele that a woman must be “convenient”, without her own opinion. That only complete submission would bring blessing. And that “ordinary” religious women were almost sinners, whom one should not even look at.

For 14 years Adele believed that this was how it should be. That what she had seen in the diaspora — respect in the family, happiness, communication, Shabbat meals with friends’ families — was not real.

Fourteen years of continuous pregnancies, childbirth, sleepless nights, isolation, and emotional swings. No, there was no physical violence. But sometimes, to break a person, words, tones, and constant devaluation are enough.

Adele was fading. She cried more and more often, felt empty and unnecessary. The children saw this.

They heard beautiful words about eshet chayil at the Shabbat table — and saw a mother who lived in fear and despair. The home filled with tension and chaos.

A chance meeting that changed everything

One rare day, miraculously finding herself outside without her husband, Adele met a childhood friend. The friend barely recognized her: a dim look, hunched shoulders, the face of an exhausted woman who looked much older than her age. After hearing Adele’s story, the friend persuaded her to see a psychologist.

After a few sessions, Adele for the first time in years felt that she was alive. That she could breathe. She remembered that she had a profession. That she had the right to look beautiful. That she was a human being. And then came the realization: she could not live like this.

And still, divorce

The decision to divorce was not instant. Fourteen years of life and six children cannot be erased in one day. Adele tried to negotiate, suggested family therapy, looked for compromises.

In response — pressure, threats, manipulation through the children, interference from the community. Six months of searching for a way out. There was no way out. In the fall, Adele filed for divorce and turned to the Yad Yitzchak Foundation for help.

What is happening now

Adele has opened divorce proceedings and found a job in her field. She is undergoing therapy and a social adaptation program. She managed to transfer her children from an unrecognized education system to state religious schools.

But she is still forced to live in the same area. Every day she fears that her children may be bullied because their mother dared to go against the system. Now she needs to cover the cost of a lawyer in order to complete the divorce, obtain child support, rent an apartment, and start a new chapter of her life.

Adele’s dream is that her daughters know their own worth and marry достойных людей. That her sons build homes based on respect, not fanaticism. That her children grow up as Orthodox Jews who observe the Torah not out of fear, but out of love.

We can help make this dream come true.

Fundraising goal

Right now, Adele and her children need help to survive the transition period after leaving a closed system and to begin an independent, safe life.

The family’s minimum monthly budget is 13,500 shekels. Adele’s own income is 6,000 ₪, so in the coming months she lacks about 7,500 ₪ per month.

We are raising funds to cover this gap for 6 months — the period while the divorce process is ongoing and child support has not yet started. This is especially important because at this very stage many women, due to lack of money, are forced to return to their husbands, and the entire nightmare continues.

Additionally, funds are needed for housing and relocation — 10,000 ₪:

 • first rental payment,

 • basic furniture and household items that cannot be obtained for free,

so that the children can live in normal conditions.

Total fundraising goal: 55,000 ₪.

This support will give Adele and her children a chance to get through the most vulnerable stage and truly begin a new life.