Rivka is tired of being strong

THE NAMES OF THE CHILDREN AND THE BENEFICIARY HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE FAMILY’S SAFETY AND THE PRIVACY OF THIRD PARTIES. ALL PHOTOGRAPHS ARE PUBLISHED WITH THE WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE BENEFICIARY. THIS STORY IS BASED ON REAL EVENTS.

Rivka is not afraid now. She was afraid 20 years ago, when at eighteen she married a man seven years older and first felt that something was wrong. Then she got used to it. She learned to endure. She learned to stay silent. She learned to be strong. And now she is tired.

Rivka is used to managing on her own. She is 38, living in Jerusalem. She came to Israel alone at 17 through the Masa program. A girl from Beit Ulpana who dreamed of a new life in the Holy Land. Life did not keep her waiting — just not the one she had imagined.

At the end of the program, a shidduch was arranged for her. Eighteen years old, a foreign country, no family, no support — and suddenly a chuppah, and a man she barely knew controlling her life. Literally. He took her bank card. Rivka worked two jobs and didn’t know the PIN to her own card. She couldn’t buy herself shampoo without permission. And that was only one example among many.

For six years she waited for a child. When Leib, her first son, was born, she thought everything would change. He was so happy. A long-awaited boy. But when Leib turned two and began doing what all two-year-olds do — playing, making noise, simply being a child — her husband found a “solution.” He locked his son in the bathroom. And hid the key so Rivka couldn’t open it.

Rivka thought about leaving again. And again she found out she was pregnant. She decided to give it one more chance. Berl was born. But instead of things improving, her husband began to drink. He shouted. He raised his voice at her and at the children. And one day Rivka noticed: when their father came home, one-and-a-half-year-old Berl would hide under the table and wet himself in fear.

That was the moment she understood — it could not go on.

He refused to grant a divorce. He threatened to take the children. He disappeared from Thursday to Sunday. Rivka did not wait. She found a small apartment, hired movers, packed what she could carry, and left.

Then came court. The court ruled that the children should see their father. At first, everything seemed fine. Then the boys began returning with bruises. When a teacher noticed, she contacted social services. And the next Shabbat, he slammed Berl against the corner of a table. A hemorrhage. Blood in his ear. Leib, thirteen years old, who tried to protect his younger brother, was strangled.

The children ran away from him at night. They ran home. He chased them. The police arrived. A restraining order was issued — for a year he was forbidden to approach or contact the children.

Rivka spent all her savings on lawyers. Every last shekel. For the get, her ex-husband demanded 22,000 shekels. Twenty-two thousand for the right to be free.

Now, at the time of this campaign, he contacts the children twice a year — on their birthdays. He pays minimal child support. And he has restricted Rivka’s movement — she cannot leave a 40-kilometer radius from Jerusalem.

Rivka continues to work two jobs. Four years ago, she enrolled in university. She wants a degree, a stable job, a way out. She wants to show her sons that their mother does not give up. That learning is possible at any age. That after any darkness, something else can still begin.

Her mother — her only close person in Israel — helped as much as she could. She picked up the children from school and kindergarten while Rivka worked. But her stepfather became seriously ill, and her mother needed help herself. Rivka took out a loan — paid off debts, helped her mother. She miscalculated her strength. And fell back again.

Now Rivka has 5,000 shekels in rent debt. A broken tooth she cannot treat because she has no money. Debts to her children’s schools. Sometimes not enough money even for bread.

As Rivka herself says:

“My boys are used to the fact that Mom is strong and solves everything. But I realized I’m tired of being strong.”

Rivka is not asking for much. 16,500 shekels — that is all that stands between her and the ability to breathe. To close her loan. Pay her rent debt. Settle with the schools. Fix her tooth. Not choose between bread and notebooks for her children.

This is the amount that will allow a woman who endured for 14 years, then found the strength to leave, then fought in court, then worked two jobs, then entered university — simply to breathe.

Let’s help her breathe.